So in 2023, I read 102 (or 103) books depending on how effectively I managed to enter things into Goodreads (or my notes app). This is a huge improvement from the 33 I read in 2022, but not only did I achieve a higher number (and thus get an A in reading…right? I got an A…right? I don’t have clearly unaddressed issues relating to female ADHD…right?), but I actually think I put a lot of myself back together on an intellectual level as well, thanks to this. If you are a mom drawn to the intellectual life in any way, and you have tiny children (or older kids, though I can’t personally speak to that), perhaps you have suffered what I am going to term “child-induced reading amnesia” where you forget to read and that you enjoy reading despite loving it for years, because you are so tired and out of yourself and your favorite jeans don’t fit and you barely have energy to doom scroll at night. Ok, well, you probably have energy to doom scroll at night.
Anyway. You stopped reading. You miss reading. You miss the person reading made you. And frankly you miss your book friends. So, how do you find this woman again? How do you build a reader into your mom persona of keeping people alive who won’t just eat the plain instapot chicken, buttered noodles, and carrots?
Never fear, noble reader. I have lots of advice from myself and the people who relayed to me via social media, which you can take or leave as it seems helpful in your life. So let’s get to it.
On the whole we read because books, through the words they hold, call us to communion in an echo of the most perfect Word.
Firstly, it’s important to not compare where you are at this moment to where you have been. Some years you are busy with work, or school, or kids, or kids and their needs, or mental health, or financial struggles, or family responsibilities. Sometimes you just get burned out. It happens to all of us, and I think, especially for those of us who love reading, this can feel like a moral failing. And for those of us who love reading and have all or nothing tendencies, it can feel like we can never read again if we can’t read as much as we did before. Try to let go of that impulse for a moment, and reflect on a time when reading brought you joy. Maybe it was staying up late to finish a favorite novel as a child, maybe it was having a cup of tea on a cold day reading under a blanket, maybe it was an especially dense work of literature you debated with a classmate about until the next morning. Maybe it was something entirely different. Whatever that memory is, what was it about the work you read that got to you—whether the plot, the characters, the ideas, the wonder, or perhaps all of that and something more. That joy—that friendship of a shared life whether in action or thought—that community is why we read. We don’t read because we “should” or “have to,” though sometimes a sort of obligation can enter into the experience due to class or a book club or research necessity; nevertheless, on the whole we read because books, through the words they hold, call us to communion in an echo of the most perfect Word. Reading is a deeply spiritual act, and it is one I encourage you to do with love.
To that purpose, if you are struggling to get back into reading, the most common advice other women had was to pick something you enjoy and give yourself permission to stop reading a book if you can’t get into it. I know for me there are books that I couldn’t read at one time, but at another time it was just right. This last year, after feeling somewhat alienated from books, I stumbled across the instagram account @thequeensreadingroom, which was a project of Camilla’s team (the British Queen Consort), talking about Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple. Now, I reflected on how I had never in fact read an Agatha Christie novel, and decided to try one. I discovered I had absolutely been missing out. I devoured the Miss Marple stories and then started in on Hercule Poiroit’s mysteries.
It is absolutely good to stretch yourself with a book…but it can also be profoundly healing to read something you know you will enjoy…
Over the last year, anytime I just wanted something fun, I would grab another Christie novel, and it absolutely kept my momentum going. Are they “Great Books”? Probably not. But they were “Pretty Solid Books,” and sometimes before we endeavor to take on something “great,” be that Anna Karenina or a marathon, we need to pace ourselves with some pretty solid books (or runs) on the way there. It is absolutely good to stretch yourself with a book (I’m looking at you, To the Lighthouse), but it can also be profoundly healing to read something you know you will enjoy (I’m looking at you, Brandon Sanderson Secret Novels, and also The Wedding Dress Sewing Circle).
Get the Libby app.
One of the other pieces of advice many of us had was to get the Libby app and the kindle app on your phone. Now, I am a book hoarder. I love physical books. I go absolutely nuts at library sales. We are running out of wall space because of our bookshelf situation at my house. Umberto Eco’s apartment is my decorating goal. That being said, phones are super convenient. If we are at the park, or I have kids who fell asleep while driving, or I’m waiting for pasta water to boil, I tend to have my phone around, and that is a great time to get a few pages read. Using the Libby app, which you can link to your library card, gives you a huge array of books to explore (and if it doesn’t, see if there are other nearby library systems you can join. I have a few different library cards I am using to expand my options). It also means you can instantly test and return books if they aren’t to your taste, or you can devour a series as quickly as you can get access to it. I have a “want to read tag” of books, so I can always have something on deck as well. For those who like audiobooks, Libby also has those, and then you can listen while you make dinner, or in your car, or on your headphones while you hold a baby who won’t lay down in their crib. Beyond just access to books, having the kindle app on your phone (and maybe at least hiding your social media apps) means your screen time can be better used than just…doom scrolling.
Now, for those of you who prefer a more low-tech approach to your reading, try placing your physical books around your house. Have one in the kitchen, on your coffee table, by your bed, in your purse, in the car. That way, when you have a few moments, you can read a page or two or two hundred. This does require having the physical books ahead of time, but this approach can also force you to think more specifically about what you want to read and make a plan ahead of time.
Especially if your reading goals include any of the “Very Good Books,” “Great Books,” or “Books Necessary for Research,” a plan makes it more likely you will actually read those books…
Something else that really helped me was having goals. Not simply in terms of books or pages read, but in terms of what I wanted to read. In my case, I wanted to read one book by Pope Benedict XVI a month, along with whatever else I read. I did miss one month immediately after having my baby, but I managed to read 11 of his works, which is more than I would have read without a plan. Like when I made a syllabus, I would think about what books to place when (though I had 12 months to play with as opposed to 16 weeks). By planning ahead I could put shorter works closer to finals, postpartum, and Christmas, so that my reading fit into the general rhythm of life. If there is an author or a genre or an era or a question you want to explore in your reading, I highly suggest making a list of the works, and then sorting out a plan. Especially if your reading goals include any of the “Very Good Books,” “Great Books,” or “Books Necessary for Research,” a plan makes it more likely you will actually read those books, and that you don’t set yourself up to read 800 pages the month you are adjusting to a newborn.
You don’t actually have to finish a book you don’t enjoy.
And, as I touched on above, allow yourself to set a book down if you cannot get into it. Unless you have to read, say technical books on sociology for your research, you don’t actually have to finish a book you don’t enjoy. You can read a single chapter from a book. You can read a single page. You can stop at 1, 10, 50, or even 100 pages in. Sometimes it can be worth finishing a hard book. And sometimes you simply power through If on a winter’s night a traveler and find you have nothing else to say except that you did in fact finish it, and well, I suppose there is that. But there doesn’t have to be. You are allowed to not finish a book.
Set off on your reading journey with friends.
Finally, set off on your reading journey with friends, whether in a book club or a text group or on a zoom call. At their best, book clubs can redouble the community aspect of reading, bringing to mind the idea Aristotle raises in the Nicomachean Ethics that while the life of the mind can be lived alone, it can be better lived with friends. One group I would like to especially plug, because it is national and I joined it this year, is Well-Read Mom. We have a few groups in my city, and it has been really delightful to talk to women I am friends with about the books, even when we aren’t in the same group, because we are all reading the same book together. And, to be honest, I probably never would have read Dracula except that it was on the reading list for this year. Also, even if you don’t like one of the readings, since it was chosen by the program, you can say so while running less of a risk that anyone will get offended.
I have to go help settle a child, and I’ll probably read while this child falls asleep, but I will try to follow up with some ideas on where to start to get back into reading if you need prompting, as well as some bigger quarterly, half year, or even year long project reading lists if you feel inclined to undertake an effort like that. I hope you will leave some of your favorite books of the last year (or ever) below to help inspire others, and maybe some of your own goals for the coming year.
Regardless of where you are in your reading journey, I hope you give yourself the gift this year of reading something that inspires you to find deeper joy in the world God has given us.